“I Thought I Was Broken”: What PTSD Really Feels Like for First Responders

PTSD in first responders often goes unrecognised—by others, and by those living with it. It doesn't always show up as panic attacks or flashbacks. Sometimes, it’s losing your patience at home. Avoiding people. Feeling constantly on edge, hyper-aware, emotionally numb.

One of our members described it like this: “I thought I was broken. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t switch off, why I snapped at my kids, why I couldn’t sleep.”

This is the reality for thousands of emergency workers across Australia. The good news? Recovery is possible. With the right support, tools, and community, many are finding their way back.

At Bellator, we offer trauma-informed peer support, access to clinicians who understand the job, and the upcoming Bellator App for 24/7 help. You don’t need a diagnosis to ask for help—you just need to know that you matter.

You are not broken. You’re human. And you’re not alone.